


Now

by A921 (June921)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Character Death, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Memory Loss, Organized Crime, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Widowed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/June921/pseuds/A921
Summary: After the death of her husband, Sansa strives as a reporter in Riverrun, soon she becomes tangled in riches, lies, and murder. She doesn't know who to trust anymore. To be honest, she doesn't even know if anything she's been told is true.Jaime Lannister has known one thing his whole entire life is to turn a blind eye, keep your head down, and always remember the Lannister name; keep it above all else.





	1. Now

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this story makes sense, but when i was imagining it I really liked it. So here you go.

The quick beating of her heart drowned the buzzing of pagers, the shuffling of papers, the feet tapping, the serious, but sardonic voices of the officers, the loud, and painful ringing of the phones.  _ Breathe,  _ she told herself.  _ You’re safe. Ramsey won’t find you.  _

 

The environment of the police station was too fast, too overwhelming. She sat on a cold and creaky, gray metal chair, in front of the desk, waiting for the detective. Suddenly, she became self-conscious of her appearance, smoothing a pale hand over her hair, her fingers getting tangled in the knots. She pulled the oversized sweater with the bright block letters,  _ KLPD,  _ down, trying to have at least preserve some decency. She had ran out of their apartment in the death of night, with no pants and her tank top, running like there was no tomorrow, as he yelled after her. 

  
  


“Stark,” She heard a teasing voice behind her, feeling the need to flinch or jump, “ Sansa Stark. You wouldn’t happen to be related to-” 

 

The man stopped speaking when he moved right in front of her, in fact, it seemed as if he was stunned, well, at least his eyes showed emotion, which felt too familiar, while his mouth remained grimaced. She felt uncomfortable as he stood in front of her, analyzing her, and staying silent. She held her breath and counted to ten. 

 

Finally he spoke, seeing a look cross her face, that he seen on too many women like her. He was use to it, but that expression on her face, it- “ I’ll get another detective to help you.”

  
  
  


Brienne sighed as she entered the breakroom, and spotted Jaime in front of the counter, stirring his coffee. 

 

“You were right,” she said as she took out change for the vending machine. 

 

“About what specifically.” He muttered as he threw away the small sugar packages. 

 

“ Sansa Stark. Rape, but she’s domestic victim. Repetitive occurrences.” 

 

“Uhm.” He had his back to her, and he continue to stir the now lukewarm drink. 

 

“What?” She asked, not understanding his silence. 

 

“It doesn’t make sense,” he said as he rubbed his face, feeling the coarse hairs of her beard.

“ Ned Stark. Uhm.” He paused, running his hand through his hair. 

 

“Who’s Ned Stark,” Brienne asked, as she opened her soda, now chugging it down her parched throat. 

 

“Her father,” He responded before sipping his coffee. 

 

“How do you know,” her eyes narrowing. “She didn’t mention any family. I just assumed she didn’t have any.”

 

“I’m sure it has to be her father. Stark isn’t a common name, and she’s the spitting image of his wife. “ 

 

“And what doesn’t make sense about it?” His back still to her.

 

“Starks are stubborn creatures, “ his voice sounding disdainful, “ They stay where the grow. They seem like a loyal bunch, so it doesn’t make sense why she wouldn’t mention family nor does it make sense why she’s here, hundreds of miles away from Winterfell.” 

 

Jaime now turned to Brienne, his eyes looking troubled, “ Where is she now?”

 

“At my desk, I was just about to take her to a-”

 

“No,” he interrupted her, “ Search for a Ned Stark, and call for him.”

 

Brienne looked at him, ready for an argument, “You can’t assume that it’s her father. And if it is, then maybe she doesn’t want to see him. It’s better-”

 

“No,” He anger creeping into his voice. 

 

“Jaime, I don’t understand. We handle cases like hers like this, everyday.” 

 

“I said, no, Brienne. Just do what I’ve asked,” leaving the breakroom, anger radiating off of him as he stormed into his private office. 

 

He began closing the blinds, and shut the door to his office. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He opened a blind with his finger slowly bending it down, and when he spotted her, he felt his heart, his hands, his whole being shaking with anger, with confusion, with a past emotion.. 

 

Then she turned, and met his gaze, and his heart stopped, and he quickly stepped back, releasing the blind back into place. He stood there for a few minutes, and then sat behind his desk. His trembling hands open the draw of his wooden desk, and found the same blue eyes staring at him, teasing him. 

  
  



	2. Now

He drummed his fingers on his desk, glancing at his door hoping Brienne would announce that the red-haired girl with shadows under her ocean eyes was gone. In fact, he wanted to never remember this night, he wanted to pretend it was another woman, anybody, but her.  But Brienne hadn’t come in yet. Jaime took a deep breath, and looked at the clock,  _ 2:30 am,  _ Winterfell was about five hours from King’s Landing. The girl had come in around 10:30, Brienne called a Ned Stark around 11:20, so he must be four hours and a half away. Jaime slumped in his chair, it creaking under his weight, and he rubbed at his eyes, soon closing him, sleep engulfing him. 

  
  


_ Of course you’re a cop, you have a cocky attitude. _

 

_ Sergeant Lannister, She said. _

 

_ Lannister, she mocked. _

 

_ Jaime Lannister, she questioned. _

 

_ Jaime, She whispered.  _

 

_ Jaime, She yelled.  _

 

_ Jaime, She gasped. _

 

_ Jaime, She moaned.  _

 

_ Jaime, She pleaded. _

  
  


“Jaime?” the sound of Brienne’ voice woke him up, rescuing form the past. He rubbed his face, and got up from his char, stretching his arms and legs.  _ 6:30 am.  _ “ Ned Stark wishes to speak with you.” 

 

He felt his skin boiling, “ Where is he?” 

 

Brienne’s blue eyes narrowed, filled with questions, “ You know him,” a statement, rather than a question. “Considering how you look like you’ll about to explode,” she said in a matter of fact,” I’ll tell him you’re-”

 

“ Where is he?” Jaime repeated. The pale lighting of his office enhance his tired appearance, making him insane, with his blonde hair sticking up in ends, and the dark circles making his  skin look pale, rather than tanned. He seemed older than he really was.

 

Brienne sighed, “He’s right outside.” She paused briefly, “ Don’t- Don’t do anything reckless,” fearing the look in her partner’s eyes. 

 

“Send him in,” Jaime commanded, clenching his jaw. 

 

Brienne nodded, and closed the door slowly, behind her and soon green eyes met a pair of grey. 

 

Jaime felt flustered, and he clenched his fist, and Ned Stark observed him, gripping the door knob behind him.

 

“Jaime,” Ned Stark stated stiffly. They stood in silence for a moment, surprisingly short. Suddenly,  Jaime felt rage pulsing in his blood, which led him to pin the grey-haired man against the door by the neck, “ What the fuck is she doing here,” He whispered, trying to have some control over himself. “She’s not suppose to be here. She’s not suppose to be looking fuck up. You’re suppose to protect her.” He was soon speaking at a normal volume, but quickly, starting to lose the small bit of control.  

 

Small ragged gasps were escaping his throat, and Jaime released him, but slammed him against the door. The older man leaned against the door, struggling to maintain balance. 

 

“Your right,” Ned said deeply, which was followed by uneven breaths. 

 

Jaime turned his back to Ned, “Why is she here,” he grinded his teeth together, clenching and unclenching his hands. 

 

“She’s married,” Ned answered, still releasing ragged breaths. 

  
  



	3. Now

The energy of the police station was almost calm at the mere hours of the morning, people moved in and out, police officers finished their shifts, and the only thing that was heard as moving quickly was the shuffling of papers.

 

Sansa tapped her foot anxiously, she wasn’t sure why she was still at the police station. She told them everything, shouldn’t they have taken her to some sort of shelter? If this was like any day, she would find herself on the bed, curled up into a ball, then she would hear Ramsey say something, but she would try to tune out his voice, after she would hear the door shutting, and she would remain in the same position all day, till he got home.  _ That’s the only good thing about Ramsay, predictability.  _

 

Sansa looked down at her moving feet, then she heard someone clearing their throat, then again. Sansa looked up, and found a cup of steaming coffee an inch away from her face. 

 

“Thank you, Detective,” Sansa said as she took the cup from the tall woman. 

 

“Tarth.” She responded. 

 

“Thank you, Detective Tarth,” she said before sipping her coffee, it tasted stale. 

 

The detective remained in front of Sansa, it made her feel uneasy, but anything made Sansa feel uneasy. She looked at Sansa like she was analyzing a rare specimen in a laboratory, 

“ Do you know Jaime Lannister perso-”

 

“Tarth,” Sansa heard a gruff voice commanded, but her eyes didn’t go to him, but rather to her father. 

 

“Dad?” She whispered, but he still heard and started coming towards her. Sansa got up from her chair and started walking fast towards him, and before she knew it he was embracing her tightly. She let her body sag, her muscles become loose. He gave her the respect of an equal but cradled her like a cherished child. In that embrace she felt her worries loose their keen sting and her optimism raised its head from the dirt. She started to sob into his shoulder, “ Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay now,” he whispered. 

  
  


Jaime began gathering his coat and saw Brienne in the doorway in his office. 

 

“You should’ve left hours ago.” 

 

“I was doing paperwork,” he nodded towards his desk. 

 

“You never do you paperwork, I do it.” 

 

“Well, I felt like doing it,” he answered as he shrugged his coat on. 

 

“ She was my case, I didn’t need your help,” Brienne said sharply. 

 

Jaime didn’t answer, but flickers the lights off. 

 

“Good bye, Brienne,” shoving his way through the door. 

 

The morning fog of King’s Landing was damp, and heavy. Jaime stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked to his apartment. 

 

_ I prefer walking.  _

 

Jaime would hear her voice in his head at the most random times, it felt like a ghost, feeling shivers down his spine. He felt light-headed, and the fog became too hard to breathe in. 

 

_ You should see it in Winterfell.  _

 

Jaime thought if he left Riverrun, he left his memories of her there, just like she did. But they followed him, everywhere. He couldn’t escape her. But he didn’t want to escape her, in fact, she was like this haven and his guilt all at once. He ran his hand through his hair, and grinded his teeth together, gaining weird looks from joggers. He began walking in longer strides, just wanting to lock out the rest of the world sooner. 

 

“Morning, Mr. Lannister,” Jaime heard his neighbor say cheerily as Jaime tried to find his keys. 

 

“Morning,” he muttered back as he jammed his key into the keyhole. 

 

_ You don’t blame your troubles on other people, Jackass.  _

 

Jaime shut the door behind him, observing the environment of his flat. Green glass bottles sat in a neat row on his kitchen mantel, a sagging couch sat by itself in the living room, clothes on the floor, and brown boxes still taped and shut closed.  He shrugged his coat off, leaving it on the floor, and made his way to the fridge. The fridge was empty, besides the beer bottles and the box of chinese take out. He put his weight on the fridge door as he stared into the fridge, and finally decided on the two old take out. He shoved into the mirowave, and leaned against his counter, but then sighed, “ Come on, Jaime,” he scolded himself, but he found himself digging through a box, spilling its contents on the floor, searching aimlessy for something he should’ve thrown away. Finally he found it, an old phone, and he begged it sliently to turn on, and when it did, he went straight to his messages, ignoring the beeping of the microwave. 

 

“Hey, it’ Sansa.” Jaime took a deep breath, and sprawled on the floor. “I’ve got the flowers you sent. I didn’t think you were that type of guy. Anyway, I free for lunch. So get back to me. “ Jaime chuckled, and ran his hands along his face and neck. The beeping of the microwave continued.

  
  



	4. Now

“Where are we going?” Sansa asked her father as he opened the car door for her. 

“Winterfell,” he answered.

Home, she thought. 

They sat in silence at the beginning of the car ride. There’s this tension between them, too many words left unsaid. 

“How long was Ramsey,” he tightened his hand around the steering wheel, “ how long was he hurting you?” 

Sansa looked at the window, glazing at the green fields, “ When we got married,” she whispered. 

“Why didn’t you say anything, Sansa?” His voice silently breaking. “I'm supposed to protect you.” 

Tears began whelming up in her eyes, “ He told me,” she gulped, “ He told me that if I did, he’d kill me.” 

She felt him reach for her hand, and he squeezed it, and she squeezed back. 

 

Brienne sat at her desk, finishing up paperwork, but couldn’t help but review last night’s events. Brienne didn’t know Jaime very well, despite him working three years now in King’s Landing. When she first heard of his transfer, she was wary, some in the department worshiped the name Jaime Lannister, the man who’s bullet never missed, but others were suspicious, considering the Aerys Targaryen case. He was quiet, kept to himself most of the time, and was constantly at odds with Brienne. Sometimes, she felt like she ran the station instead of him, he was the lieutenant for gods’ sake. 

“About to clock out, Sergeant,” Podrick yelled as he made his way out the door. 

“Have a good afternoon,” she yelled back. 

She tapped the pen against her closed mouth, Jaime Lannister was a difficult man to read, but last night, the way he was clearly angry, well, that Stark girl was somehow connected to him. But she didn’t seem to know him, that’s what kept bothering Brienne. While Sansa Stark had a blank look on her face, Jaime’s expressions showed something that was..odd. It wasn’t the look you’ll give a stranger. 

Her phone began to ring. 

“Detective Tarth.”

“Hi, am calling from St. Joanna’s, a woman who came with you earlier, Sansa Stark, she left a necklace of hers. We have no mean of contacting her-”

“I’ll pick it up later,” Brienne interrupted. 

“Pick what?” She looked up to see Jaime. He looked at her questionably, as if he could sense it would pertain to Sansa Stark. 

She hangs up the phone, “ It’s nothing, just the hospital calling for -”

“The necklace?” he asked. 

“How you’d know,” her eyebrows furrowed. 

“ I notice she didn’t have it when she left,” his face blank. 

She rose an eyebrow, but he looked simply at her, “You’re shift’s done. You should get some rest,” he said before leaving to his office. 

 

When Brienne arrived home, all she could think about was Sansa Stark, it just didn’t make sense to her. The way Jaime saw her with some familiarity, but only to be returned a blank look. She didn’t know a lot about her lieutenant, all she knew that he looked like he’d been through something that made him appear ghostly. She paced around her living room and decided to do something she was against. She grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and typed Sansa Stark into the search engine. 

RIVERRUN TIMES  
JAIME LANNISTER COMMISSIONED TO SERGEANT  
By: Sansa Stark


	5. Chapter 5

  
  


“You’re safe, I promise you, you’re safe,” Her mother murmured into her hair as Sansa tightened her arms around her. It was the third time this night. Sansa sobbed into her mother’s shoulder, as her mother continue murmuring sweet nothings into her hair. 

  
  


“I’m safe.” Sansa’s voice echoed off Jaime’s walls. “I know it was completely stupid, but,” She paused, and took a deep breath. “It would be highly hypocritical of you to be angry at me when you do stupid and dangerous things more than I do. “ She chuckled briefly at her own joke, “ But I guess curiosity killed the cat. I honestly don’t know what I’m saying.” She took a deep breath, “ Get back to me when you can.” 

 

The answering machine replaced Sansa’s voice, “ Do you wish to delete the message?” 

 

Jaime sat on his couch, rubbing his eyes, and moved on to the next message. 

  
  
  


Sansa sat at the kitchen table, sunlight came in the dining room, the aroma of eggs and bacon was heavy, and her mother’s stare was overwhelming. 

 

“Eat,” her mother commanded as she pushed the plate closer to Sansa. 

 

“I’m not hungry,” Sansa whispered, looking downward at the wooden boards. 

 

“Sansa,” her mother grabbed her hand,” You haven’t been eating these past weeks.” 

 

Her eyes flickered to her mother, ” Who was I before Ramsey?”

 

“Sansa,” her mother tightened her grip on her hands, “ Your my daughter.” 

 

“Who was I before the accident?” Sansa looked at her mother, begging for her to tell her that she was once a happy living being. 

 

Her mother worried her lip, and now was looking everywhere, but Sansa.  

 

“I told you before, you were writing in Riverrun.” Her mother said quietly. 

 

“What was I writing?” Sansa asked her mother, her voice sounding pleading. 

 

Catelyn released Sansa’s hands, “It’s best if you ask your father.” She whispered before getting up from her chair. 

  
  


Sansa sat on the porch swing, watching Rickon and Bran riding their bikes farther, and farther from the house, and saw Arya coming towards her. Arya sat next her, “How are you?” 

 

“What do you think,” Sansa responded, swinging her legs back and forth. 

 

“I heard you asking mum about Riverrun. Do you really not remember that?”

 

Sansa stayed silent, and look at the green pastures that went on for miles, their house was on the countryside. 

 

“ I don’t,” she said after a few minutes. 

 

“Why do you care now,” Arya furrowed her eyebrows, “You didn’t care a few years ago. At least not this much.”

 

“ Because all my recent memories are of Ramsey,” she rubbed at her eyes. 

 

“What good would it do if you knew what happened before him?” Arya questioned. 

 

“I’ve felt empty for the last years. I could use anything to try to fill me up, even if it means halfway.” 

 

Arya observed Sansa, carefully, trying to decide whether or not to say anything, “Dad keeps your articles in one of your boxes that are in his office.”

 

“How do you know,” Sansa croaked as she looked out to fields, as dusk neared. 

 

“He’s kept it there for years, and I’ve been through it. Nothing interesting, but a few expired condoms in the pockets of your jeans. ”

 

“Of course you have,” Sansa said, her lips twitching upward. 

  
  


Sansa laid in her bed, and thought about her mother’s odd reaction. She glanced at the clock, the bright red numbers shining in the darkness of her room,  _ 3:30.  _

 

_ Why didn’t I care? _

 

She thought about the day she woke up in the hospital room, but instead, she only had fragments of that day. She remembered the worried looks upon her parents’ faces, she remembered they told her she got into a car accident. But why was her mother acting weird when she asked about her life in Riverrun? She stared at the ceiling, and took a deep breath. 

  
  
  


“I’m on my way to the subway,” Sansa said out of breath. “You better be there.” 

 

Jaime glanced at the clock,  _ 4:44.  _ His shift started in an hour. 

Sansa tipped toed across the cold hallway floor, and silently closed the heavy door of her father’s study. She rummaged through his closet, and found the brown boxes stacked neatly on a top shelf. She rose on her tippy toes to get the boxes down, and on the final box, she dropped it, the box making a loud noise when it hit the floor. 

 

“ _ Shit.”  _

 

Most of the boxes were filled with clothing, and books, but soon enough Sansa found the box Arya mentioned. 

_ RIVERRUN TIMES _

_ JAIME LANNISTER COMMISSIONED TO SERGEANT  _

 

_ BARATHEON ACCUSED OF CORRUPTION _

 

_ JAIME LANNISTER’S INVOLVEMENT IN THE TARGARYEN SCANDAL  _

 

_ THE CLEARING OF JAIME LANNISTER’S NAME _

 

There were a dozens of articles in the box, mostly around the year 2017, the year Sansa woke up with no memories of the last three years. Mostly all the articles were surrounded around one person, having some hint of familarity. The name rang a bell, like she had heard it earlier, but she couldn’t remember where.  

 

“Sansa?”

  
  
  
  



	6. The End

Her father flicked the lights on, “You found them,” his voice heavy with sleep. 

“Yeah,” she hugged the newspapers tightly to her chest. Her father crouched down on the floor next to her, “You would send us clippings of your works every Sunday.”

The room was silent, and her father yawned, and his eyes were growing heavy. 

Sansa debated whether or not to ask her father about the articles, but why was she debating, again? She trusted him. “Who’s Jaime Lannister?”

Ned stretched his arm out,still leaning against the wall, waiting for Sansa to give him the articles, and he squinted at the pages. “Seems like some bloke causing trouble in Riverrun.”

That isn’t right, Sansa heard in her head, feeling shivers up her spine. She tucked her hair behind her ear, “Did I ever mention him?” 

“Not that I remember.” He handed her back the articles, and Sansa noticed her father’s hands silently shaking. 

“You should get some sleep.” 

“So should you,” He responded back. He slowly got up, and made his way out of his office. “Good night.” 

Sansa sat on the cold floor, ” Maybe he was just some bloke,” she told herself. 

 

Jaime sipped his coffee,he could feel his dark circles on his eyes becoming more prominent and flipped through reports at his desk,” Brienne!” 

Brienne came in fuming in his office, “ You know I’m not your dog-” 

“What is this?” He waved over a report. 

Brienne crouched down over his desk, “ It’s the domestic case from a couple weeks ago. What about it?”

“They’re not pressing charges?” Jaime asked bitterly.

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Brienne answered, trying to meet his eyes. 

“They should be pressing charges,” Jaime’s anger started to leak into his voice. 

“That’s her decision, not ours.” Brienne answered sharply, “ I just need you to sign it, not question it.” 

“Get me Ned Stark’s contact information,” Jaime demanded. 

“No,” Brienne retorted.

“Why’s that,” Jaime barked, running his hands through his hair, getting out of his chair so fast, it crashed into the bookcase, causing loud thumps. 

A knock was heard, easing some tension, and Podrick opened the door slightly, “The reporter’s here to interview you Lt. about the Greyjoy case.”  
“Tarth, get out of my sight,” Jaime said as he bend down to pick the the fallen books. 

 

The night neared, and Jaime began to shrug on his coat, and when he looked up, light blue eyes greeted him. Brienne stood in his doorway, struggling whether to come in or not. 

Jaime nodded towards her, and she came in, closing the door behind her.  
“ You knew Sansa Stark personally?” 

Jaime didn’t answer, and rummaged through his desk.

“ Or at least knew her before a couple weeks ago,” Brienne pondered. “ I saw that she was a reporter for the Riverrun Times, at least a couple years ago she was.” 

Jaime ignored her, and shoved his way past her. 

 

Sansa found herself digging through the brown boxes in her father’s office, dawn nearing. So far, she found old receipts in the pockets of her jackets, and nothing more. She flipped the pages of books, and found nothing, but worn bookmarks. She went through purses, nothing to find, expect change and pens. 

One last box to go. 

It was more clothing, and Sansa began to feel disappointed, she wanted to find some photos of unknown friends, a journal, or even some post its, but nothing. She tried asking her parents about her life in Riverrun, but they shrugged, and said it was her first year away from home, a chance at freedom. Why would she tell her parents everything? Why wouldn’t she though? 

“ What are you doing, Sansa?” her mother’s voice rang in her head, “Sansa, no matter how much you try revisit the past, there is nothing that changes.”

Sansa took a deep breath, and turn the box upside down, letting the clothes tumble out, and a flash of brown leather caught Sansa’s eye. 

It wasn’t her jacket, it couldn’t be. She shrugged the jacket on. It was too big, and it seemed masculine, and smelled of smoke that made Sansa’s eyes water. She stuck her hands in the pocket, and felt something crinkly, and took out a piece of notebook paper. There was writing on it, but it was lazyily written, making difficult to understand. Sansa squinted at the paper, and she could only assumed it said: 

Greyjoy meeting at the iron dock at 3pm. 

It couldn’t have said Greyjoy, Sansa had never heard of such a name or word. 

 

“ You’re probably asleep at this time,” Sansa whispered through the phone, “ When aren’t you asleep?” She paused, “ I should probably be asleep, but I can’t.” She chuckled, “ I can picuture that smirk of yours, and your head creating all these perverted ideas.” 

Jaime answered the recorded message, “ I could think of a few.” 

His mouth tasted bitter, and he downed the ale, moonlight coming in through the curtains. 

Her tone turned serious ,“I heard about E.G, be careful. You shouldn’t be doing that during the holidays. Don’t you have a brother in King’s Landing? What about your partner? Stop rolling your eyes, I know you are...I always do.”


	7. Before

I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might give you guys the before story. Also, ap testing is going better than thought. Just one more month of stress.


	8. Three years ago

“ No one really changes,” Jaime said softly into the phone, “ People only become more fully of what they are.” 

 

“Voicemail deleted,” the robotic voice responded to the click of a button. 

 

“The sooner you realize that it’s never going to go back to the way it was, the sooner you can move on, “ He took a deep breath, “Move on. Diner.” 

 

“Voicemail deleted,” the robotic voice repeated. 

 

“All I know is you,” He said dryly. 

 

“Voicemail deleted.”

 

“ I trusted you,”  He reprimanded. His fuming voice seem to bounce off the walls, “ And I..” Jaime gave a humorless laugh, “ I didn’t think you’ll use it against me.” 

 

“Voicemail deleted.”

 

“ I want to see you, “ Jaime admitted. 

 

“Voicemail deleted.”

 

“ Sansa,” he said clearly out of breath, “You were right, they are meeting at the docks, an-” 

“Voicemail deleted.”

 

“Ned?” He looked up to see his wife leaning against the doorframe, her eyes seemed sad and tired, “ What are you doing with Sansa’s phone?”

 

“Nothing,” He said hurriedly as he placed the phone back into the box, “It’s late,” he stated, “Let’s go back to bed.”

Cat didn’t move from the doorframe, and looked at Ned with unresolved emotions, “Ned,” she said with conviction. “This isn’t right, you know this isn’t right.”

 

“Cat,” Ned sounded tired, like he had been grieving, “ We just got her back,” he uttered. “That man put her in danger-”

 

“ Sansa is grown women,” Cat argued, “ It was her choice to-” 

 

“ We just got her back, Cat.” He paused, “ Do you want to lose her again?”

  
  



	9. Before

“Why are you calling so late,” her father questioned. 

Sansa bit the cap of her pen, and leaning back in her chair, with her feet on her desk. She was the last one in the office, and the clock read 11:30. 

“I had some questions,” she stifled a yawn, “ There’s this man who is going to be commisioned to Sergent. There’s going to be an event for the press, and-” 

“Sansa, darling, I’m unsure how I can help with that.” 

Sansa sat up straight on her chair, “ Well,” Sansa sounded nervously, “ This man apparently worked in King’s Landing around the same years as you did. Was the youngest officer to be working at the finest precident in Westros. Bit controversal, his family is too,and there’s little information on him. Especially his whole involvement in the Targaren case.” 

Ned was slient, Sansa continued, “ Sound familiar?”

He didn’t say anything for at least a minute, and Sansa could hear her father’s blinker turned on. 

“Sansa, I’m not allowed to talk about Jaime Lannister,” Ned said stiffly

“Dad, that case happened over a decade ago, and there still has not been any information released to the public, expect Lannister’s involvement in the Prime Minister’s death .Then Jaime Lannister becomes the most hated man in Westros, despite the evidence for Aery’s corruption. ”

Sansa put the phone closer to her ear, and leaned over her desk, “ He’s being promoted to Sergent in Riverrun. Many people are angry and protesting it, but-” 

Ned’s deep breath interrupted her, “ You think his promotion should be supported,” his tone sounded mocking. 

“ I can’t make a desicion whether or not because I don’t know the whole story,” Sansa stated, standing straight as if she was in front of her father instead of hundred of miles away. She heard his blinker go on again, and she can almost hear the quiet buzz of his Kenwood.

“Why do you need to have a decision on Jaime Lannister?” 

Sansa bit her lip, “ I’m going to the press event tomorrow, and it’s my job to inform the public as accurately as I can.” 

Ned went slient again, and Sansa could hear the static and click of his radio. 

“ I didn’t know Jaime Lannister well,” he paused, deciding to continue to, “but I don’t believe he’s a good man.” 

Sansa’s father could be described as judgement at times. He was very traditional, and stuck to a list of morals and guidelines; anyone who didn’t follow those, well, they weren’t consider to be a man of honor by Ned Stark. 

“I need to go Sansa, I shouldn’t be on the phone during my shift. Goodnight, take care.”

“Goodnight,” she said, but it was already too late.


	10. Now

“I’m going mad,” He whispered to himself in the darkness of his room. He sat up on his bed, feeling sweat dripping off his skin, and he ran his hand through his dampened hair. His heart was beating quickly, and he felt like he was running out of breath. 

 

_ I’m doing a terrible job at forgetting you because I dreamt about you moments prior and your facial features appeared so neatly.  _

 

His words to her kept replaying in his head, and he hugged himself tighter. It was his fault.

 

_ You left me memories I’m dying to forget. _

 

Jaime heard his breath getting heavier, and suddenly he remembered Euron Greyjoy’s words. The son of a bitch’s mocking voice rang in his ears, and Jaime clenched his fist. 

 

_ Some people are willing to destroy themselves just to remember. Other people will kill just to forget. No one gets to decide who hurts more, because either way, the hurt is all the same. _

 

“ It’s my fault,” Jaime murmured, “ It’s my fault.” 

  
  



	11. Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to make chapters longer. This may be the last now chapter, and the rest will be before.

“What are you doing here?” Theon said spitefully. His voice made him sound years older then he was, it was full of hatred that Jaime was too familiar with. 

Jaim didn’t answer him, but looked around the dimly-lit room, and met the gaze of the security officer. He soon turned his eyes to Theon, whose color of his bright orange jumpsuit made his skin appears pale and grey. Theon fidgeted with the end of his white sleeves, his foot kept tapping, and his gaze remained downwards. 

Jaime dug into his pocket and took out a chain with a single pearl on it, and he slid it across the grey table. 

Theon grabbed the chain quickly, and looked incredulously at Jaime, “ How did you get it?”

Jaime heard the buzzing of the officer’s kenwood. 

“Stumbled across it,” Jaime said plainly. He leaned against his chair, and Theon stood up straighter, eager to ask more questions. 

“ Have you found-”

“I’m not working on this case anymore, Theon,” Jaime’s voice was starting to sound mocking. 

Theon’s gaze return to the table, “ Then why are you here?” 

“She would’ve wanted me to return it,” Jaime said as he stood up, shrugging his coat on.

Jaime turned his back on Theon, and made his way to the door. 

“I’m sorry, “ he could tell Theon was holding back a sob, “ I’m sorry,” he paused trying to compose himself, “ I’m sorry for what happened to her.” 

Jaime gripped the doorknob, “ She had the tendency to look for the good in people to a fault.” 

Jaime stood there at the door, and heard the officer pulling out cuffs. Theon was an innocent man by the eyes of the law, Jaime knew this, but Jaime couldn’t find it in himself to give a shit. 

 

Sansa woke up gasping, her hands frantically removing the sheets off herself.

I’m home, she kept telling herself, but it was like her mind didn’t have control over her own body. Minutes passed, as she pushed off all the sheets and blankets onto the floor. Goosebumps spread trhoughout her body, and Sansa saw the red numbers shining in the darkness of her room. 

4:15 

She stood up from her bed, and walked around her room, trying to calm herself down. Her throat felt dry. Sansa walked to the kitchen, and saw the light on; she heard hushed voices and she could smell coffee. 

Jaime was finishing typing a report, when Brienne came into his office. He didn’t look up, and thought if he pretend she wasn’t there, she’ll leave. She cleared her throat, then she did it again, and again. 

“ Can I help you, Brienne,” Jaime’s annoyance was clear. 

“I know you took it.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“The necklace,” she yelled, “ I went to the hospital today, and they said another officer had picked it up.” 

Jaime cocked an eyebrow, “ You must have picked it up, and simply forgot. Brienne, have you been sleeping enough?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying to finish this before I leave for a writing program, but it's been hard to do. So please be patient


	12. Now

Storm’s End Correctional Facility stood a couple miles from Riverrun, but on the edge of nothing but miles of cracked roads and woods stood a simple diner. Jaime felt his eyes closing involuntarily, but he tried opening them wider; he had another three hours to meet his destination. His vision was becoming blurry, and decided to stop at the yellow brick diner. As he got out of his car, he chewed on his bottom lip anxiously and squinted at the door handle.

 

“Sergeant Lannister? Is that you?”

Jaime turned to the familiar voice, “ Lt. Lannister, now actually,” he corrected with a brief smile, “Haven’t seen you in a while, Gage.”

 

“ Cause you don’t stop as much as you used to,” the ruddy, burly man said with a thick northern accent.

 

“How’s business?” Jaime asked as he sat down at a booth and Gage followed, rubbing his hands down his apron.

 

“The same as usual,” Gage sighed as he looked around the empty establishment, “ Worse when you left, considering you were my most frequent customer. Had to let go my only waitress. What will you have, the same as always?”

 

Jaime nodded, and the cook left to kitchen.

 

_“How can you like it here,” she scrunched her nose,” the table’s sticky all over and the coffee is too bitter.”_

 

_ “Shouldn’t you be home?” Jaime responded, “ Isn’t you husband wondering why you’re out late at night.” _

_ “I’m not married,” Sansa paused, “ I was. “  _

_ She fiddled with her ring, “ My husband died on duty a couple years ago.”  _

_ Jaime’s eyes softened, “ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”  _

_ “No, it’s fine,” Sansa quickly interrupted, “ People often ask me about my husband because I still wear my ring. I’ve been meaning to take it off, but I can’t often push myself to.”  _

_ “If you don’t mind mind asking, on-duty?” _

_ “ He was in the military, and you can imagine,” Sansa trailed off. “He had finished his contract, but my brother had convinced him to enlist again,” Sansa clenched her fist, “ Jon would basically do anything Robb would ask of him. They were best friends since preschool, and then they both enlisted, both were in same unit.” Sansa chuckled, “ They called themselves the Night’s Watch.”  _

_ “How long were you two married?”  _

_ “ Almost five years,” Sansa said wistfully, “ We had been together in highschool too, the whole entire date you older brother’s best friend cliche. But he was good, too good. Great, actually. Basically, if Ned Stark’s guidelines for a husband as a person. “ _

 

Jaime leaned on his hand, and looked out the window, while absentmindedly listening to the quiet, honeyed voice of the singer.

 

“Here you’ll go,” Gage said as he placed a steaming cup of coffee in front Jaime. They both heard the bell ring, and Gage excused himself.

 

Jaime continued blankly to stare out the window, and heard a frantic, hushed voice speaking to the ruddy, wrinkled owner.

 

He heard rushed footsteps coming in his direction, and he looked away from the window to whoever was coming nearer to him. He heard himself lose all ability to breathe.

 

“Jaime Lannister?” She asked anxiously, her eyes wild.

  
It was her. _No, it couldn’t be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you are curious this are the songs that I used to finish the story, so here's the playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3XrKx4jfWSyEzb1EpZQMEX?si=633omWx7RKiL_b40TEE-8Q


	13. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to make chapters longer in the near future.

  


Apparently having a degree from a prestigious university, and working at a well-known newspaper isn’t enough to pay for the bills. It’s a miracle that she’s been able to keep this job despite her short attention span, and short temper. Maybe it’s because Shay pities her. She breathes in the aroma of strong coffee, sweet pastries, and smoke. It almost five to midnight, but people still roam the cafe. She shouldn’t be surprised though, Riverrun is one of the few cities beside King’s landing that never sleeps and is constantly filled with tourists. She’s been here since the early afternoon covering for Jeyne, but she didn’t mind it.

 

She leans against the bar, and looks around the cafe.Young couples look longingly at each other while sipping coffee, longtime friends chatter, and drunks enter in and out.

 

Three more minutes, she mutters to herself.

 

Once the couples and friends start to depart, she goes around picking mugs and dirty napkins up.

 

When she’s done cleaning and locks the door of the cafe, she is greeted by Olenna, a nearby shopkeeper.

 

“Evening, darling.”

 

“Evening, Olenna.”

 

“You shouldn’t be here this late, darling. You should be home with your loved ones.”

 

She says exactly the same thing to Sansa every night.

 

“Not long now.”

 

Satisfied, she nods, and continues her way to the parking lot.

 

By the time she arrives home it’s a quarter past one. She lets herself into her silent flat, and changes to loose clothing, and pulls a bottle of white out of the fridge, pouring herself a glass. It’s sour. She studies the label, and realizes she must have open it last night, and didn’t close it properly.

 

On her mantelpiece, sits two cards. One from her mother, and one from Robb suggesting that she should visit him in Winterfell. Both of them are from six months ago. Two voicemails on her phone, one from her work and one not.

 

_“Hey Sansa… It’s um, it’s Harry. Harry from Blackfish pub. We hooked up.” He awkwardly laughs, “ I enjoyed it, thought maybe we could do it again… You know my number.”_

 

When the bottle of white is finished, she considers going out to buy another, but doesn’t want Osha, who works at the local mini mart,  to make one of her little jokes about her endless supply of wine. She doesn’t want to hear or talk to anyone in general.

 

She goes out to her balcony, feeling the cold hair on her skin. She looks out to the bright skyline of Riverrun. She rubs her eyes, and pulls her phone out to listen to the voicemail from work.

 

“Sansa, it’s Gendry,” Sansa’s mind flashes through various people, and comes to the conclusion that he must be the photographer,” The press event for Jaime Lannister is going to be held inside a small office by sixth street, instead of outside of the president. Supposedly a couple of people had called the precinct, threatening the event; so it’s close to most of the public. I’ll see at nine tomorrow with the passes.”

  


Sansa yawns as she parks her car in a deserted parking lot, only Gendry in sight. She groans, and rested her forehead on the wheel, and hears a knock on glass. She reluctantly rolls down the window.

 

“Gendry, when does the actual event start?”

 

“Ten, why,” his forehead wrinkles, which makes this small gesture infuriate Sansa.

 

“You’re telling me that I could have stopped for coffee,” her annoyance clear.

 

“Well,” he chews on his bottom lip before continuing, “ There’s been a lot of buzz of this Lannister guy, and I thought we should be-”

 

“Because you thought other competing newspapers and stations would arrive early too. Believe me, Gendry, “ Most aren’t coming because the public doesn’t want to hear about this man’s successes.”

 

As predicted only a few are there when the press event begins. Sansa watches as Gendry sets up the stand for his camera.

 

“This goes here, and this goes over there,” he hums to himself.

 

If this was a normal day, where she normally had her coffee by now, this wouldn’t irk Sansa, but this man was almost as irritating as Arya. She could feel a vein popping out on her forehead. She closes her eyes, and tries to calm herself.

 

“We are ready to begin,” a deep, raucous voice says, one that Sansa is quite familiar with.

 

_Uncle Brynden. Captain of the 103th precinct._

 

Brynden Tully, or also known as Blackfish, was and still is a force to be reckoned with; despite the streaks of graying hair in his Tully red hair, and the deepening wrinkles under his eyes, people knew not to ever cross Blackfish. Sansa grew up hearing many tales about Uncle Brynden, mainly on where his nickname came from. Rumors say when Brynden returned home after his service in the War of the Ninepenny Kings, Sansa’s grandfather had already arranged for him to marry a young heiress called Bethany, of the wealthy and powerful, Redwyne family.  Brynden refused the marriage, and hated the idea of settling down, which led to Sansa’s grandfather calling Bryden the black goat of the Tully herd; but with Brynden’s spunk, he joked that given that the Tully’s family crest is a trout, it would be more appropriate to say that he was the black fish of the Tully school. 

 

Sansa felt her lips move upward because Brynden Tully reminded her much of Arya, who was a force not to be reckoned with among her teachers. 

 

“I have served the community of Riverrun for over thirty years,” Blackfish croaked, before continuing he cleared his throat, “ Under my command, Riverrun has seen a decrease in criminal activity. My precint has strived to create a safe enviroment for all citizens, and many of my fellow officers are passionate about protecting the citizens.” He paused, clearing his throat again, “ The reason why many of my officers are passionate about the safety of our community is because I analyze every person’s judgement and character before hiring. I have trained them to do the same, and seeing as I age further; I will retire within the next year and wish to leave my community in the best hands. Despite rumors and allegations, I have chosen to commision Jaime Lannister, whom I entrust will protect Riverrun the best I did.” 

 

Blackfish stretches his arm, and looks to his left, “ Sergent Lannister.” 

  
  



	14. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took care of myself and looked at the overdue bills in the face, even though it hurt.  
> I took care of myself and cried ugly through the therapy session;made another appointment for next week.I finally cut off all my dead ends and bought produce; slimy avoided sustaining myself on chips and poetry.I recycled.I set an alarm for 8 hours of sleep  
> and did not sleep more or less.  
> \- Schuyler Peck, The Greatest Act of Self-Love Isn’t Always Pretty

Blackfish stretches his arm, and looks to his left, “ Sergeant Lannister.” 

 

A blonde man around his early thirties steps up to the podium, he’s nothing like Sansa had imagined. Sansa had imagined Jaime Lannister to be not so…. Human. She notices the uneasiness in his voice as he speaks, it’s almost hidden. Almost . 

 

“I, Jaime Lannister,” Sansa thinks his voice sounds smug, “ vow to protect the citizens of Riverrun, and-” 

 

Sansa doesn’t hear the rest of what he has to say, but instead she thinks about when her father  was commissioned to be captain of his precinct. The crowd was loud, and he needed a microphone; but here you can hear the sound of a pen scratching on paper, Jaime Lannister doesn’t seem joyous but rather solemn. 

 

Blackfish’s voice disrupts her thinking, “ There will be no questions. Thank you.” 

 

The other reporters start packing there staff, accepting the fact that they cannot not fully do there job, and Sansa stands there dumbly, but then she hears herself, “ Captain Tully, not to be rude, but why are he hesitant to take questions? To my understanding this was a press event, and usually this is where the press asks their questions, and surrounding the controversy surrounded around Sergeant Lannister; I believe it’s in his best interest to have the favor of the press.”  

 

Sansa can feel the stares of others in the room, especially Gendry’s glare. 

_ Never cross Blackfish.  _

 

But her uncles simply quirks an amused eyebrow, and she notices his lip tugging upward. 

 

“Ms. Sansa,” he says simply, “I usually appreciate our debates, but today is not a day for them.” 

 

“My name is Davos and I lost my son in a car accident.”

 

On a humid Tuesday night, the members of the grieving group sat in a ring of orange office chairs in the Septon hall, alongside Willas, the leader, a young man with a limp whose whole being excluded a kind of tired melancholy, and one empty chair. 

 

“Meera. My brother died in December. He was sixteen.”

 

“Gilly. My sister died in labor along with her baby.”

 

There was a peculiar scent to grief. It smelled damp, imperfectly ventilated church halls and low quality tea bags. It smelled of meals for one and stale cigarettes, smoked hunched against the cold. It smelled of spritzed air and armpits, little insignificant victories against wallowing grief. The smell alone told Sansa the she didn’t belong here.

 

She felt like a fraud. Plus.. they all looked.. So sad. 

 

She shifted uneasily in my seat, and Gilly caught her. She nodded and gave Sansa a simple smile.  _ We know, it said. We’ve been there. _

 

Willas looked expectantly at Sansa.

 

She looked blankly at him. 

 

“Oh. Me? Actually- I was just leaving. I think..I mean, I don’t think I’m..”

 

“Oh, everyone wants to leave their first day,” Davos said gently. 

 

“I wanted to leave my second and third time.”

 

“That’s the biscuits. I keep telling Willas we should have better biscuits, “ quipped Gilly.

 

“Just tell the bare bones of it, if you’ll like. Don’t worry. You’re among friends,” Meera said quietly.

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” Sansa rushed out of the sept as fast as she could. 

Sansa lived on the edge of Riverrun, or at least a developer’s board on her block had proclaimed:  _ Where Riverrun Begins. _ The block existed at the exact point where the glossy glass temples to fiance butted up against the grubby old brick and slash windows of curry shops and 24/7 grocery shops, and minicab offices that refused to go out of business. She knew nobody by name on her block, besides Osha who ran the minimart.

 

The anonymity suited Sansa. She came here to escape the past, to escape her history. Riverrun began to alter Sansa. She had come to know her little corner of it, its rhythms and its danger points. She knew that if you gave money to a bum at the bus station, he would come and sit outside you flat for the next month. She knew to keep her keys lodged between her fingers when she was coming back home in the darkest hours of the night. She knew that if she bought late night wine, to never glance at the men who huddled outside of the minimart. 

 

She could survive. Besides, she knew better than anyone, that they were worse things that could happen.

 

Sansa’s soon greeted by the rowdy music, and a whiff a liquor as she’s about to pass a pub, and she spots him in the window. 

 

She stood at the entrance for a minute or more, analyzing her surroundings. It was a full bar with dim lighting, most of them cops still in their uniforms here for happy hour. 

 

“Uncle Brynden,” Sansa greeted as she sat on one of the red barstools next him. 

 

“Well, isn’t it my least favorite niece,” He joked, and waved his hand to the bartender. 

 

“Well, my least favorite uncle, I was trying to do my job,” she looked over to the bartender, “ Can I have water.” 

 

“ You’re too much like your mother. Challenging others could get you into trouble, you know. “ 

 

“You’ve always done it.”

 

“Exactly,” his eyes were gleaming, “ I thought you were supposed to be the good of the bunch.” 

 

“Now,” he said in a quiet, serious tone,” Sansa, aren’t you supposed to be in the sept. Your mother-” 

 

“I was,” Sansa answered plainly, and before she could say anything more, she added, “ No, I didn’t stay parked in the lot. I actually was seated in a meeting for a few minutes.” 

 

“Sansa-”

 

“Uncle.” 

 

She sipped her water, and Brynden began to scold her, “ Your mother told me to look over you-” 

 

“I’m a grown woman,and I’m late for work,” Sansa said as she pushed herself off the stool. 

 

“You just got off work, didn’t you,” Her uncle said. 

 

“The bills in Riverrun are expensive.”

 

As Sansa walked to the cafe, she thought bitterly of how everyone had worried about her, especially since she made the rash decision to move to Riverrun after less than a year since..

 

_ I took care of myself and looked at the overdue bills in the face, even though it hurt. _

_ I took care of myself and cried ugly through the therapy session;made another appointment for next week.I finally cut off all my dead ends and bought produce; slimy avoided sustaining myself on chips and poetry.I recycled.I set an alarm for 8 hours of sleep _

_ and did not sleep more or less. _

 

She wish they could understand that.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Appreciate reading your thoughts and feedback. *hint*


End file.
